As profoundly liberating as separating from a partner can be, it can also usher in a whole new level of self-doubt and tricky situations. One of the areas that people around the world have struggled with is that of dating after divorce.
Know when to start, what to do, and what not to do is not easy, especially if the separation from your spouse was a bitter and nasty one. If you find yourself in such a situation, it is important to remember that there is no need to rush. You can enjoy some carefree gaming at our online casino instead of swiping your way through Tinder or other dating app profiles. The following do’s and don’ts of dating after divorce can help you when you are ready to put yourself out there again.
Do: Date When You Know You’re Ready
Whether you are on the rebound, or well-meaning friends keep trying to set up blind dates for you, you should start dating again only when you know in your heart that you are ready for it. When a smile from a stranger gives you the feeling of butterflies doing a joyful dance in your tummy, you will know you are ready to face the dating world again.
Do: Determine What You Want In a Partner
Failed relationships can be a great way for us to learn what we do not want in a partner. Before you start dating again, think long and hard about the characteristics of your perfect partner. If you cannot think of anything, it can help to go on a few dates as a way of sussing out what you want, and what you do not want.
Do: Have Reasonable Expectations
Depending on how clean or messy it is, a divorce can wreak havoc on the way we see others and on how we think about relationships. It can help to write down what you consider to be the characteristics of a healthy relationship, as well as what you expect from a partner. Try getting a clear idea of deal makers and deal breakers, but do be sensible about it. No one is perfect, after all.
Do: Wait to Introduce Your Children
You probably do not need us to tell you that your divorce made an impact on your children. Bearing this in mind, as well as the fact that you are not likely to make a long-term commitment to the first person you date after your separation, you should wait to introduce your children. This also is important because children can become attached to people quickly. You need to protect their hearts as well as your own.
Don’t: Pressurize Yourself
Do not pressurize yourself into meeting someone, dating, or committing to a relationship after divorce. As wonderful as dating and relationships can be, it is OK to be single for a while. Also, do not put too much pressure on your dates. Let things happen organically.
Don’t: Settle For Loneliness’ Sake
It is easy to get used to a partner being around when you are in a long-term relationship, so the singlehood that follows a divorce can bring frightening emptiness. As tempting as it can be to settle for the first person that comes along post-divorce, don’t do it.
Don’t: Punish New Partners Because Of Your Ex
It also can be tempting to compare dates or a new partner with your ex, or even to be unduly harsh or judgemental because of the hurt or anger you feel following your divorce. Remind yourself that your ex is exactly that – your ex. Whatever your former spouse did, it had nothing to do with the person you want to date now. Move on, let go and embrace new love without the baggage!