As the daughter of a filthy rich hotel magnate, Paris Hilton can be pretty much anything she wants to be. We’ve seen her on reality shows and in movies, we’ve heard her album, we’ve seen her clothing designs, and most recently, we watched her cook. Kind of.
Perhaps the heiress who first graced our screens with former pal Nicole Ritchie in the Simple Life was aiming for comic relief. Perhaps she genuinely believes she can cook. Perhaps she placed a bet without knowing about the awesome thrills available at our online casino. Either way, while most of the world was busy watching the Coronavirus horror unfold in China and elsewhere, she launched Cooking with Paris on YouTube.
Those of us who can remember how her attempt at onion rings went down on her early 2000s reality show decided to see how the wealthy socialite makes lasagne – or, at least something that, with the help of a fairy godmother, might be lasagne.
How It Went Down
To be perfectly honest, we had our doubts about Paris Hilton’s kitchen abilities when we saw her Chihuahua in her hands. Thankfully Diamond Baby (yes, that is the poor creature’s name) had no part to play in the lasagne, although that does not mean the dish was devoid of fur. We noted that Paris did not wash her hands between handling the animal and starting to, erm, “cook”.
What followed could have appeared as a nightmare to fans of celebrity chefs and fine dining. Heck, it would have been a nightmare to anyone who knows anything about food safety. Kitted out in a designer apron and fingerless black gloves that she asserted were for ‘sliving’, Paris proceeded to grate mozzarella after complaining that she had not bought already-grated cheese.
The 38-year-old also complained that she bought the wrong lasagne sheets, and she complained about the brutality of spoons. When it came to cooking the meat, Paris made sure to cover her stove with salt (in her defence, she sort-of aimed for the pan), to press all the juices out of the ground beef, and then to tip them down the drain.
At some stage, Paris realised she had forgotten to add onion and garlic. Ever the improvisor, the heiress then decided the aromatic ingredients were superfluous. Her lasagne did not need them.
After layering meat and pasta in a dish, she topped it with a mound of cheese, and put it into the oven. What came out later looked like lasagne. There is no way it could have tasted like the classic dish, but it did look like it.
Early into the 15-minute debut episode of Cooking with Paris, Paris Hilton gave tantalizing clues about the reason for her latest project. For starters, she thinks that she is an amazing cook.
Secondly, the daughter of Richard and Kathy Hilton offered a snippet of autobiography. She confessed that, for most of her life, she has enjoyed sitting on the kitchen counter while her mother cooks. We would have thought that the Hiltons would have had a private chef or cook. We live and learn, right?
It Could Be Comedy
We had to spend a few minutes recalibrating after watching the first episode of Cooking With Paris. Initially, we thought Paris was serious about making a cooking show.
However, the more we think about it, the more we want to believe that the concept was a stroke of genius on the part of someone who may just be a lot more intelligent than she lets on. In her 20s, Paris had a reputation as a party-loving socialite; a reputation that still follows her. She has tried her hand at various projects, several of which prove that she does not take herself too seriously – something on which brand Paris Hilton is built.
That was evident from the very first episode of the Simple Life. It could be that Paris had absolutely no intention of making a serious cooking show. The total lack of technique and ingredient knowledge, the lack of kitchen hygiene, and the running commentary about fashionable aprons and brutal spoons ultimately give the show a comedic feel, and we suspect that is what it is really about.